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[MUSIC] The key to well-written academic
text is it's first few sentences. In particular, the first 7 or
8 words of a sentence. When readers grasp those first 7 or
8 words easily, they read what follows faster, understand
it better, and remember it longer. To write good sentences,
follow these 5 principles. Avoid introducing more than a few
sentences with long phrases and clauses. Get to the subject of
your sentence quickly. Make subjects short and concrete, ideally naming the character that performs the
action expressed by the verb that follows. Avoid interrupting the subject and
the verb with more than a word or two. Put key actions in verbs, not in nouns. Put information familiar to the reader
at the beginning of a sentence, and new information at
the end of the sentence. Avoid long introductory phrases and
clauses. Have a look at the following examples. Most readers find the first sentence
harder to read than the second sentence because it makes them
work through a 13-word phrase before they reach its subject, eat. In the second sentence,
readers immediately start with a subject, these general concepts. The principle is this, start most of your
sentences directly with their subject. Begin only a few sentences
with introductory phrases or clauses longer than ten or so words. You can usually revise long introductory
phrases and subordinate or dependent clauses into separate independent
sentences, as in the second sentence. Make subjects short and concrete. Readers must grasp the subject
of a sentence easily, but they cannot when the subject is long,
complex and abstract. Compare these two sentences. The whole subjects in
each are italized and the one word simple subject is bold-faced. In the first sentence,
the whole subject is 12-words long, and its simple subject is a nominalised word,
adoption. In the second sentence, the whole
subject of every verb is short, and each simple subject is relatively
concrete, university system, each department head, he or
she, and teaching staff. Moreover, each of those subjects
performs the action in its verb. System will adopt,
department head demonstrates he or she is committed,
teaching staff cooperate. This principle is this, readers tend
to judge a sentence to be readable when the subject of it's verb names the main
character in a few concrete words. Ideally, a character that is the doer
of the action expressed by the verb that follows. To fix sentences with long abstract
subjects, revise them in 3 steps. Identify the main
character in the sentence. Find its key action and
if it is nominalised, make it a verb. Make the main character
the subject of that new verb. Avoid interrupting subject and
verbs with more than a word or two. Avoid splitting a verb from its
subject with long phrases and clauses. The noun phrase which contains nine words,
separates the subject, scientists, from the verb, are creating, forcing
readers to suspend their mental breath. To revise, move the interrupting
clause to the beginning or end of the sentence,
then you may have this sentence. Put key actions and verbs, not in nouns. Readers want to get to a verb quickly, but they also want that verb
to express a key action. So avoid using general purpose or
empty verbs such as have, do, make, conduct, perform, carry out to introduce
an action smothered by a nominalisation. Make the noun a verb. Compare these sentences. In every crystal, we have the manifestation of
a particular state of space. Instead you may say, every crystal
manifests a particular state of space. Put information familiar to readers
at the beginning of a sentence and new information at the end. Readers understand
the sentence most readily when they grasp its subject easily. And the easiest subject to grasp is
not just short and concrete, but also familiar. Compare how the second sentence in each
of the full-length passages does or does not contribute to a sense of flow. In sentence a,
the first words of the second sentence express new information,
black holes in space. The collapse of a dead star into a point
perhaps no larger than a marble creates. Those words about collapsing stars
seem to come out of nowhere. But in sentence b, the first words
echo the end of the previous sentence. Black holes in space,
a black hole is created. Moreover, once we make that change, the end of that second sentence
introduces the third more cohesively. The collapse of a dead start into
a point no larger than a marble. So much matter squeezed into so
little volume changes. Compared with sentence a at
the end of its second sentence, doesn't flow into the beginning of
the third sentence as smoothly.

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